


Wasteland ( for you and me and nobody else)

by alseT



Category: The End Of The Fucking World (TV)
Genre: F/M, but a happy one, ghost story, pov alyssa, they're together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-04
Updated: 2018-05-04
Packaged: 2019-05-02 02:21:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14534583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alseT/pseuds/alseT
Summary: Sometimes I think I ruin everything I touch. James was  one. But he’s always been the exception.





	Wasteland ( for you and me and nobody else)

My name is Alyssa.

 

I'm 18. Preparing for university. In a town middle of nowhere. Have an unfunctional family. My real dad is an asshole and the other is a jerk. Hate everything. Pretty much normal.

 

Except I am haunted by a ghost. A boy who died because of me. And who also died for me. 

 

 

 

 

“We could literally make a film, you know. Like Ghost or something. Making great fucking money ” I said to ghost James one day. He said okay without missing a beat, which was exactly how I predicted.

 

 

The ghost thing troubles me more than I’d like to admit.

 

 

 

I had wondered if seeing James is a sign that I'm about to go nuts. Since this is what they say on TV. Like the tremendous guilt and other stuff. I could give less than a shit. Still for my state of mental health I tried to ignore him for a day or two, but then he got really sad, so I stopped.

 

It’s not a bad thing. Not really.

 

Somehow I'd like to think that he’s here because we love each other. Like real deep. So death couldn't separate us. Not because he couldn't go anywhere else or this is some sort of sick revenge, or, you know. 

 

 

 

Which is still creepy though. Because we live together now, and we haven't even got married yet.

 

 

 

 

“They say you’re a psychopath. Because I told them you kidnapped me.” They also said it was possibly because of his mother died in front of him when he’s little. It was bullshit.

 

“Good.” He said, while sitting next to me, watching some dumb tv show. “It's kind of cool.”

 

“And they also think I got Stockholm syndrome when I tried to defend your honour.”

 

He just laughed. It didn't really count as a reply. His spirit's really high this days. I wish I didn't just make a supernatural pun. 

 

“Do you think, I can feel you if I touch you?”  Without turning to look at him, I asked.

 

“I don't know.” He said, voice soft and dry. “I never tried.”

 

“But you could have tried while I was sleeping or something. You don't need to sleep now, do you?”

 

If he says yes, then being dead would be really lame.

 

“No.” He answered, a little hesitant. “But I never tried to touch you.”

 

“Why not?”

 

“I was scared.”

 

I was half tempted to ask of what, but swallowed it as quick as it formed on my tongue. I thought I know exactly what he's afraid of. That's why I'm here asking him instead of just grabbing his hand or slapping him.

 

I didn't know why I always got so violent when he’s around. Maybe that’s who I am.Or maybe because he’s always exactly the opposite. I don't hate it as I did before. It’s kind of sweet.

 

“Okay. But I really want to touch you right now, so I will do it either way.”

 

“Okay.” He said, swallowing visibly. One of us’ breathing become rigid, or both. But it’s really hard to tell when you got other things to concentrate on. The sofa didn't even crack where he’s sitting, which did nothing to help me being hopeful. But other’s can't see him, I can. This must mean something.

 

“Well.” I said, like I always do . “Here we go.”

 

 

 

*

_There’s something I learned while i was on the run with James. That some mistake could be fixed. And some can’t._

 

_For example. I left him once. But he’s waiting for me. So when I went back. I found him._

 

_Another time. He was ready to turn himself in. But I wasn’t. I thought we could still run away and hide. Somehwhere none of these assholes of adults could find us. Together. But we couldn’t. He died because of my naivety._

 

_The next three weeks I was like the actual living dead. Everyday when I open my eyes, I would be thinking, is what happened before all a dream. It could be, because when you think about it, it’s all so fucking surreal. But it’s not._

 

_And there would be no restaurant that I would ever find him sitting, waiting for me._

 

_Exactly a month after his dead body lying on the beach. He appeared right in front of me._

 

_He said hi, with a nervous toothy little grin. And all I could do was staring at him._

 

_First time in my life became the wordless and quiet one. He could count this as a win. I don't really mind._

 

_Then he turned around and tried to see if there’s something behind him._

 

_“Sorry.” He said, a little embarrassed. “I had to make sure. Others can't see me. Not really. So.”_

 

 

 

*

I can touch him. In a sense of speaking. 

 

Like it’s cold but not too cold.He’s made of ice or something. But I can touch him. So I think it’s worth it.

 

And then he kissed me. It caught me completely off guard. We sort of collided together, which was both awkward and uncomfortable, my lips may even be bleeding.

 

Sorry. He breathed and I mumbled something like shut up.It was hard to tell, since we took no time to try again. A lot more slower this time. His lips could be real soft, marshmallow kind of soft. I don't know how mine felt to him. Since they could turn to ice in any minute ,it must have burnt him. But then, I kind of felt some warmth creeping into his lips. 

 

“ What the hell.” I broke away from him.

 

“ What?” He asked. He was so cute when he had no idea what’s going on.

 

“ What? You're supposed to be cold. Like in a corpse kind of way. Are you gonna melt away like if we kissed long enough?”

 

He kept staring at my lips.

 

“ I don't know.” He said. “ But it felt good, didn't it?”

 

Gotta say he had a point.

 

“ Yeah.” I admitted a little unwillingly . But went back kissing him willingly.

 

I even liked it, figuring if he could melt away, he would find a way to come back. Again.

 

We eventually had to stop it. Since it got a lot boring when you done it a lot. But we kept holding hands. Maybe a little cuddling afterwards.

 

“ How does this thing even work?” I asked him when the room was completely dark.

 

“ I don't know.” He said.

 

“ What you did that day on the beach was pretty shitty you know. You ruined my plan.”

 

“ Sorry.” He said, holding me tighter. It's really unfair, since I'm the one who should apologise to him. It’s just I still couldn't say it.

 

“ We could've been together.” was what came out instead. Least die together. Like Bonnie and Clyde, though I hated that film.

 

“ We are together now.” He answered, and I just sniffed .

 

Stupid tears.

 

“ For how long?” I asked, and I sweared to god if he says I don't know again, I'm gonna find way to kill him.

 

“ As long as we like.”

 

So He said.

 

 

 

*

_Gun shots, it’s all I hear. All I see is that James’ not running anymore. They did it. They fucking did it._

 

_They killed James._

 

_His dark eyes, his messy hair, the way he laughs so silently, the night I slept next to him. The hand holding mine. The pain, the pain, the pain. The happiness._

 

_It’s all gone._

 

_And I'm truely alone in the world._

 

_Funny that I thought I was alone a long time ago and not until now did I realise I was so wrong ._

**Author's Note:**

> _"-We've seen each other naked, 've seen each other cry_
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> _You make me not want to die" ___


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